Deathwish Coffee's Valhalla Java Odin Force Blend
Deathwish... the US coffee company that boasts the effects of its extreme, caffeine-rich roasts are akin to being kicked in the cojones by a donkey wired to a Mack truck battery (“this is not your regular morning coffee. This is not your store bought coffee. You will not find this coffee at your local diner or at your sissy Starbucks”) has just launched a special blend that promises maximum flavour and caffeine content that goes all the way up to 11. It's called rather spectacularly the Valhalla Java Odin Force Blend and has been produced in association with legendary guitarist Zakk Wylde and the Black Label Society. Bitchin'!!
Reading like a rather dodgy excerpt from LOTR, the company's press release claims the coffee has been "forged from the volcanic soils of Indonesia and the nutrient rich soils of Central and South America. This masterful artisan roast has been carefully crafted for
Sauron the World's Most Powerful Guitarist. This coffee will bring you back from the nights you thought you'd never wake up from. Rock on!."
Available on pre-order, it's a 12oz, $15 bag of premium free-trade dark roast organic heart attack.